We all have that one thing that seems to test our patience no matter what. That one thing that drives you batshit crazy to the point of wanting to give up.
I’m going to relate my one thing to parenting. My youngest child Daisy has tested my every fiber of my being. Let’s go back to the beginning.
We found out that we were expecting in May of 2016. It was unexpected to us because we certainly weren’t expecting to have any more kids. I repeat - WE WERE DONE HAVING KIDS. It’s on me. I was supposed to have a vasectomy but I was too chicken to get it done. Imagine that. My wife gives natural birth to four kids and my ass is too chicken to get snipped. That just goes to show you that men aren’t as strong and powerful as they’d like to think they are.
So because I was a chicken and wanted to play “Russian Roulette” in the bedroom, we ended up expecting.
Needless to say after she was born, I got snipped a few months later without hesitation. So with Daisy being out last child, I was hoping she’d be an easy baby. You know, the kind of baby that’s all smiles and hardly cries. The kind of baby that gets at least five hours of sleep at six months of age without waking up. The kind of baby that’s not a cling-on.
Um… yea, no. We got the opposite of ALL OF THAT.
Daisy has to be the hardest child we’ve raised. Extremely colicky, cries like she’s dying (I call this Dying Baby), never sleeps, everything is a battle, constantly into things… the list goes on forever.
Having a child like Daisy while I pursue this entrepreneurial journey is like walking through Hell with no water in sight with all of your worst nightmares coming true.
YES. IT’S THAT BAD.
I truly understand why most people quit. They’re mentally not ready to continue even when they feel completely insane. They want to feel normal and be sane so they retreat to what’s comfortable. They don’t want to deal with obstacles because something added onto their already full plate makes them completely lose their mind.
Daisy has tested every part of my mental capacity. Many times I’ve woken up after an hour of sleep at night hearing crying and thinking to myself, why the fuck won’t she just sleep. Many times I’ve sat down to only get up ten seconds later to take something out of her hand because she’s found a Leggo on the floor. Many times I’ve said to myself, why have I done this to myself? Why didn’t I just go for it years ago. I’ve said those words in extreme agony and pain after three hours of sleep and Daisy crying for no reason. I’ve had days of delirium when I’ve committed to going LIVE on social media at 9am and I’m dreading doing it because I’m exhausted.
Many many many times I’ve questioned, why did I do this to myself. Why is this child so damn difficult? Let’s not forget that my Daddy Daycare also includes my 3 year old Skylar and her antics.
So life as a stay-at-home dad who’s on this crazy entrepreneurial journey can become incredibly challenging and ultimately make me want to quit.
But there are a few things to recognize here.
1. I refuse to quit. That shit ain’t happening. I’ve realized that nothing will happen perfectly and that everything that’s happened along this journey is nothing but a rest of how bad I want what I want.
2. Daisy will give me hell regardless of what I do. That won’t change. It’s just a matter of accepting it and doing whatever it takes to get ahead of it and maintain consistency with what I need to do.
3. I completely understand why people quit. Because this shit gets too mentally challenging and it’s a lot easier to go back to what you’re used to and what you know than to continue on with what you don’t know and keep getting mental headaches which leads you to the brink of insanity.
You see, even through all of this, I love my baby girl with all of my heart. She drives me batshit crazy but she’s been the EXACT CHALLENGE I probably needed. She’s exactly what I need to keep my head in the game. Sounds asinine right?
I’ve come to the conclusions that everything that challenges you on your entrepreneurial journey is to prepare you for something greater in the future. Most people don’t last long because they’re unwilling to accept this as a fact. They want it to become easy instead of them becoming mentally stronger.
You want to get mentally stronger? Then get good at the following:
To get anywhere in this life, you must be consistent to the point of automation. What does that mean? Your ass needs to be doing this shit like you walk. When you get up in the morning, you don’t all of a sudden say, DAMN MAN. Now I gotta walk. OKAYYY…. let’s walk. One step, one step, one step…
Consistency Pays Off - Fred Blumenberg
No. You’ve fallen so many times as a baby that now walking is second nature. You don’t think of walking until a day comes that you can’t walk due to an injury or something that keeps you from walking.
Get so consistent at something that it becomes muscle memory. Fuck your feelings when it comes to doing these mundane tasks. Create an ultimate goal and break it down over time. Place deadlines on your goals. Read your goals aloud every morning and every night before you go to bed.
If you have a goal for this year, place a deadline on it - Dec. 31, 2018. Break it down quarterly, monthly and then daily. This is to give you something to strive for everyday so that you’re living everyday closer towards your purpose.
Validate Your Feelings and Then Get to Work
Yes, I know. I said fuck your feelings but here’s the deal, I don't want you stuck in your feelings. Too many people get stuck in their feelings and ultimately stay there.
Your feelings are indicators. They are like the notifications you get on your cell phone. You can either respond to them or you can look at them and wait to respond. You don’t respond to every text message right away all the time. No. Some of them you look at, read and then say I’ll get to that later. Why is that? Because that text is not that damn important to respond to right now.
Understand that’s the same way you need to deal with your feelings when it comes to getting shit done. It’s good to recognize that you’re angry and upset but now what are you going to do about that? Being angry and upset won’t help you finish a task unless it’s motivating you. Most time it isn’t and people use that as an excuse to stop.
Don’t stop, don’t respond to it. Look at it and respond to it later. This metaphor for your feelings being like the notifications on your cell phone. It’s good to recognize them but you don’t need to respond to every single emotion.
Why Did I Do This Self-Questioning Phase
Yes. This will happen to you everyday as an entrepreneur. That’s why it cracks me up when people are like, you need to have a WHY!! Yea, not me. Fuck your why, what’s your goals. What are you pursuing and why. Why is this connected to you. Give up this idea that I must do this for my kids, my wife, my family, etc. At the end of the day, all of that shit is sweet but it’s not as personal as if it’s tied directly to you and you only.
Let’s face it, you’re going to have a lot of self-questioning and you’ll need to answer those questions through your own accountability.
You Won't Feel Like Doing It 100% of the Time - Fred Blumenberg
Self-questioning is good. It’s a way to self-audit and keep yourself accountable to you. It’s a way to be honest about what’s going on and reassessing if you’re on the right track.
Question yourself everyday. No, I don't mean question whether you can do it or not. I mean question what you need to work on to be better. Question what you need to be doing more of. Question the amount of time that you’re investing in certain things.
If you’re not questioning your own actions, then you’ll just go on thinking you’re good and you’ll never be able to max out on your potential or be willing to shake things up when the time is necessary.
Yes, Daisy has tested my will and my every fiber of my being but I’m not quitting for shit and I love her too much to quit. Don’t get it twisted, this is not my why. She’s not the 100% reason why I’m doing this.
The one reason why I’m doing this is to prove solely to myself that I can do this. That no matter what obstacle I have or challenge that gets in my way, I will come out on top. NO MATTER WHAT.
If you don’t understand about how big of a challenge I’ve had with Daisy, make sure you click on the articles below and you’ll gain a greater understanding on how big this truly is.
Do you, be you.