The funny thing about me starting my entrepreneurial journey was that I never thought it would impact anyone inside my family other than financially. Here's a story about my impact on my oldest child - my boy Trey.
My son has always admired me. How do I know? Well, it’s a father’s intuition. My full name is Frederick Lee Blumenberg Junior. I remember when my wife Michelle was pregnant in with our first child in 2008, we decided to not find out the sex of the baby.
There’s a reason why I told you my full name.
You see, she had a million baby girl names picked out if we had a girl but I had one name if we had a boy: Frederick Lee Blumenberg III. Also known as Trey. My son.
And so it was. Trey was born into this world on November 14, 2008. Crazy to think that this young man will be ten years old!! Yikes. Where the hell does the time go? The funny thing about this is that I’ll also be celebrating a milestone birthday. I’ll be turning 40 this year.
The cool thing about this love story is that Trey is a lot like I was when I was his age. You see, I wanted to be like my dad so bad. I had his name and wanted to do everything like him. I wanted to be like him in every which way.
The problem was, my dad loved hanging with his friends, alcohol and late nights more than he loved hanging with his family.
My dad was physically around but he was never mentally there. He was physically and mentally abusive towards me as a child. My mom divorced him in 1992 to which I was glad because he’d no longer be around to terrorize the household but that also meant that I had to learn everything about being a man on my own.
Boy, talk about learning some hard ass lessons on your own. For that, I hated my dad for over a decade. I literally despised him for not being there for me when I needed him most.
I eventually reconciled with him by the grace of God and that was through the workings of my sister Tina putting things together. Here’s a video that further explains our relationship and how and why I held a grudge and the effort it took to overcome such a thing.
My Grudge and Why I'm Speaking About It - Jul. 14, 2017 with Fred Blumenberg
So why all this about my dad? Great question. Because it had a profound impact on my life. I learned a lot of things that I shouldn't do from my dad's actions. But one thing's for certain, I remember saying to myself, I will be an awesome fucking dad when I have the chance.
And dammit, that’s what I am.
I’ve been through many ups and downs but one thing I promised myself was that I’ll always be there to teach him new things so he has an advantage in life and not feel like he’s constantly behind the eight ball.
When I started my entrepreneurial journey on October 7, 2015, it was a point in my life that I had to realize I needed to increase my learning in life. It didn’t matter that I had a bachelors degree and no job title meant shit when I came home.
It was all about the subtle things that I did. I didn't realize this until I started doing things to make myself a better entrepreneur. I began getting up super early (3am), listening to audiobooks by multimillionaires, my language was different (speaking in abundance and acceptance as opposed to speaking in limits and wishes).
My son began to know who Grant Cardone and Andy Frisella were and he started asking me who they were. He started picking up the habits that I was displaying. He wanted to get up early and do tasks such as making his bed and getting himself ready like I was doing every morning.
I didn't understand the impact of this until we got in the car to drive to a basketball practice. You see, I was a basketball coach of a travel basketball team. The 4th grade Wauconda Jr Bulldogs. He would ride along to practice and hear how I spoke to the kids in practice. I didn't just yell at them and tell them what to do. I dont coach like that. I spoke to them in metaphors. Many times. I wanted them to understand things in a different way.
I wanted basketball to be a microcosm of life. I wanted then to understand that what they learn under my coaching wasn’t just for basketball but it was for life. It’s more than a game to be a leader and be the best, it’s about teamwork and being the one that’s willing to say I fucked up, let me try it differently next time.
Trey and I have an amazing relationship. Sometimes I think i'm being too hard on him. It’s a parental thing. But then I think to myself, I wish I had this kind of teaching when I was his age. I’m not the perfect parent. But I will flood his mind with everything that I’ve learned so I can see that I’ve done everything I possibly could’ve done to positively impact his life.
Ultimately my entrepreneurial journey is to show all of my kids that you can do whatever you set your mind to. It’s all about what do you want? Go after what you want because ultimately your life depends on it.
I want them to see me fail, fuck up badly and rise from the ashes to succeed. I want them to see the blood, sweat and tears that it takes to get what they truly want. If I were to die today, I can honestly say that’s the impression that I left on them.
I tell my kids this phrase whenever there’s a teaching moment:
Your mother loves you. She’ll tell you loving advice. She gave birth to you. She doesn’t want to see you hurt. She will give you loving advice.
Daddy will give you real world shit. I will tell you what you don’t want to hear and you won’t like it but it’ll make you think about how you can change your future. I will give you the tools to kick Life’s ass. Every. Damn. Day. That’s what I do.
And that’s what I do for everyone I work with. Period.
Be awesome all day, everyday.