For Me, 2019 is A Lot Like 1988

Let me explain why Trey (at ten years old) reminds me so much of me when I was ten years old.


Trey is my only son. He’s my first born child and anyone that has multiple kids, knows that the first born holds a super special place in your heart. And again…. any parent that has multiple kids knows one thing: the child that annoys you the most is usually the one that’s has a lot of your tendencies. One of the things that I’ve realized is that Trey is a carbon copy of me. He does the same exact things that I did when I was his age.


It’s true. The child that seems to get under your skin is a stark reminder of who you used to be at their age.


Trey is that child.


He has countless traits that remind me of a ten year old Freddy back in 1988. When I was ten, I had a lot in common with Trey.


  • I was super silly.

  • Very sensitive.

  • Curious about how things worked. I was always about a process.

  • Very empathetic. I cared deeply for people.

  • I loved to make people laugh.

  • I was obsessive about things I liked.

  • Always about making others feel better.

  • Big time procrastinator.

  • Tendencies of ADD.

  • Wanted to know how to be cool.

  • ALWAYS LOOKED FOR ACCEPTANCE FROM MY DAD.


The last one is what’s most important. Why? Because as much as I wanted my dad’s approval for everything I did, I never got it.


I wanted to be like my dad so much that even when he wouldn’t do bad stuff like curse at us out of anger, I would curse just because he did.







My mom divorced my dad in 1992. It was a bittersweet moment. I was glad that she did because quite honestly, he sucked as a dad. He was hardly ever home, he was verbally and physically abusive and it was never a good time when he was home. Not at all.


So it was sweet that he was gone but it sucked for me as a boy who was learning how to deal with my crazy tendencies. That list of bullet points I listed above was ME at the age of ten. I was desperately trying to make sense of myself. I needed a man. I needed my dad.


That’s where I come in to save myself but before I talk about saving myself, my mom saved me. She was my dad. She told me what NOT to do. She told me what REAL MEN DO. She saved me from going down the same path that my dad went down.


How did I save myself?


Well, … I found my favorite actor at the age of ten. His name? Will Smith. How did I find him? Through a show called The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.


All this holds significance because I was desperately looking for a male role model and there wasn’t any in our family.

Finding Will Smith changed my life. I wanted to be like Will in every aspect of my life. I was desperate to fund a guy that was like me that I could emulate. Someone who was silly, showed empathy, was genuine and loved to make people laugh.






Fast forward 21 years and I’ve seen myself at age ten. What’s the difference? The difference is that I’m the dad that I’ve always wanted. I’ve worked my entire life to get to where I am now.


So you might be thinking to yourself, what the heck does that have to do with me?


Simple.


  • Any pain that you’ve experienced as a child is what you work the entire rest of your life trying to overcome. It took me 21 years to overcome mental heartache. It took 21 years to...

  • Find out how to be a man.

  • Understand how to be a good brother.

  • How to be a good dad.

  • Find confidence in being myself.

  • Understand that I had what it took to be great.

  • Develop patience.

  • Understand my gifts.

  • Overcome my ego and pride because I was trying to act like I knew it all to mask that I didn’t know shit.


If you’re a parent, this article will resonate with you. If you have multiple children like I do, you’ll find that one of those kids is EXACTLY LIKE YOU. You’ll see you insecurities under a spotlight. You’ll find yourself over correcting your child because they are the younger version of you. You’ll find yourself wanting to save that child from all disaster but at the same time wanted to throttle them for doing something super dumb. The SAME DUMB STUFF YOU DID.


I’m proud to be Trey’s dad. It’s the biggest challenge that I have as a dad. It makes me realize how important my role is to him as a father. Whenever I feel like I have no energy or I just can’t do anymore as a dad, he reminds me of my ten year old self. He reminds me of where my mindset was in 1988. He reminds me of what I wish I had at his age.


He reminds me that I need to step it up and be a billion times better than my dad ever was. He reminds me that I have to DO MORE to show him how to be a successful man and how to have confidence in who he already has become.


The most important thing about my entrepreneurial journey is that he gets to see firsthand what I have to do to create success. He gets to have a tangible example that he can emulate and get insight from.


He gets to have all that I wish I had.


So 2019 is not about me. It’s not about where I’m working to get to in the next few years. It’s really about how can I teach my son to create success and how to create it in abundance. It’s about teach young Freddy at ten years of age how to achieve success, even though he’s apprehensive and often times shy.


It’s like I get to be the dad that I wish I had by teaching my ten year old self how to be successful and still enjoy life. I may not directly benefit from my teachings. But I know my ten year old self (Trey) will!


#1Mindset




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