Why is it so easy to lie to yourself? Why? Aren't you tired of disrespecting yourself with the lies that you sell yourself?
Are you disrespecting yourself? Are you being honest with yourself or are you buffering your feelings with bullshit lies?
We all love to lie to ourselves. We do. We often live out these lies to cover up deeper insecurities. But what if you were extremely truthful with yourself? I’m talking about true accountability. Brutal honesty.
What if you walked around all day saying this:
“It happens to me because of me.”
What do you think would happen to you?
You’d have heightened awareness of what you were actually doing. If you said, “It happens to me because of me” more often, you’d realize that things don’t happen to you accidentally. At first, you’d become defensive about the things that happened to you but then you’d become acutely aware of what was actually happening to you.
When you become aware is when you’re able to be receptive to making changes. It’s not JUST about making the changes, it’s about being AWARE of the pattern you’ve created that’s getting you your current results.
Most people want to change but they’re not aware of what needs to be changed and/or they’re not willing to make the change - even though they KNOW EXACTLY what they need to change.
Get it?
The key is becoming aware of what you’re doing and doing something different. Work on replacement behaviors not end-all-be-all tactics. Be practical and take it one step at a time.
1 - Please (I BEG OF YOU) STOP making excuses. You should be well past the point of excuses but most people will make them simply for the approval from someone else. That’s right - people will make up bullshit excuses to tell their friends in hopes that they’ll believe their bullshit, thus confirming their bullshit is true.
Simply put, if you lie enough to and enough people believe the lie, the lie then becomes the truth.
Look, I had a PhD in Excusology. I perfected this craft. Then it caught up to me one day and I could no longer bullshit myself. When you’re constantly coming up with excuses, what you’re really telling others (as well as yourself) is that you can’t be reliable. And when you can’t be reliable, you don’t come through for others or for yourself. This is the real reason why people are afraid to take risks. They don’t trust themselves to come through because they can’t rely on themselves to see themselves through ANY situation.
Get rid of the bullshit excuses. They are slowing you down and rendering you useless to yourself and to others.
2 - START saying, “It happens to me because of me.” Say this as often as you can throughout the day. It’ll help you become aware of what you’re doing, why you’re doing it and what you need to change to get the results that you desire. Also, when you come up with one excuse, come up with two solutions.
The hardest thing to do is to recognize the good in a bad situation or to see how you can do something positive with it when everyone thinks you can’t.
It’s time to become extremely accountable for every action you take. Again, I can’t stress this saying enough: “It happens to me because of me.” One of the most important parts to this message is the fact that you’re taking complete responsibility with EVERYTHING that’s happening in your world.
Are there acts of God and crazy stuff?? Of course. Acts of God will happen to you at some point in your life but in terms of daily living, you’re in control of everything.
First, ALLOW yourself to make mistakes. Be okay with messing up. WE ALL DO IT. Use it as a lesson learned and move on. Don’t overanalyze it.
Second, I want you to track your progress. Track things that work and things that don’t work. Have something that you can track your actions so you can identify a pattern. The most important part about becoming accountable is really just paying attention to the pattern of actions you’ve created to get certain results.
3 - Most people think that being accountable means you’re constantly admitting fault or guilt. That’s completely false. Being accountable means you’re willing to say when you messed but you’re also willing to be held to a certain level of success or standard that will be measured over time.
Always hold yourself in high regard. Always be willing to be fluid and ready for change. Be someone that’s always uplifting others. Be the change that you want to see in the world.
In order for you to be THAT kind of person, you have to stop lying to yourself so that you can be truthful and honest with others but most importantly so you can be AUTHENTIC!
Stay positive,
Fred
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